2004-03-05 - 4:30 p.m.
I'm back!!!
Why? Because I suck and I need to start again. My 50,622nd diet attempt. Please tell me I'm not the only one who tries and fails miserably about 15 million times til it works. I need it to work.
Things that got me started again...my godawful scale told me that I actually weigh 250 pounds!! How could I possibly weigh that much weight? Okay, I know I'm fat. But in my head I'm not. I'm still the pretty and outgoing girl I always was. Isn't 250 pounds a quarter of a ton? I'm obsessed with the fact that I weigh that much. I try to determine who at works weighs that much. Not that many people. I would say out of around 800 people maybe 12 weigh more than me. That I know of...that's such a horrible thought.
Another reason I'm starting again - I have a dieting friend. She's sweet and kind and about the same size as me. I saw her diary that she is keeping once and she didn't shield me from the fact that she weighs 244 pounds. She is the only fat person here that I'm friends with. She has fashion sense and I have always envied her wardrobe because it's hard to dress nice at this weight - there aren't nearly as many options.
And yet another reason - amusement park season is coming and we all know what that means. No extension belts. I avoided most last summer, but I can't do that forever. And to be completely honest I don't want to. I used to love amusement parks. Adore them. And I can get into a lot free and for their free previews, in which everything is free. Yes, everything. Food and games too. It's a park perk that is offered up in May for most of them.
So, I'm going to start again fresh on Monday. Not only keeping a diary of what I eat but also what type of exercise I'm doing too. I may update a little this weekend if I can get this up at home.
Thanks to anyone who reads this. Knowing there is even one person reading this little diary will keep me going.
